Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
