Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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