also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
