no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
