Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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