I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
