So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
