I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
