My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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