I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
