Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
