Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
