she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
