They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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