I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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