I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
