you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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