I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
