Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
