The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
