I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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