I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize