Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
