Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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