It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
