Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
