i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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