exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
