i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
