Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
