i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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