doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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