im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize