ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
