My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize