who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize