That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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