i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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