Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
