even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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