we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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