I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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