I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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