nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
