Christians are straight up FREAKS
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
