I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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