whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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