So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
