I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize