I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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