I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize