Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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