He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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