We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
