She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
whose parrot is this?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
