I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize