i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
