I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
