So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
