I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize