What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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