You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
