Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
