we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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