After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
