I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
