roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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