we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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